A blond joke

[Tony B.96LT4]

Found this on the CF:

Three Blondes were all applying for the last available position on the police force. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So you want to be cops, huh?"

The blondes all nodded.

The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a folder. Sitting back down, he opened it and pulled out a picture, and said, "To be a police officer, you have to be able to detect. You must be
able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities such as scars and so forth."

So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds. "Now," he said, "did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?"

The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!"

The detective shook his head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!"

The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.

The detective then turned to the second blonde,stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back and said, "What about you? Notice
anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"
"Yes! He only has one ear!"

The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed,Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady?

This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear!
You're excused too!"

The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.

The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but......" He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying,
"All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?"

The blonde said, "I sure did. This man wears contact lenses."

The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder. He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?"

The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "Well, Helloooo! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses."

[Norm Clemmer]

Golf at 6:30 or 6:40

Four lawyers in a law firm lived and died for their Saturday morning round of golf. It was their favorite event of the week. Then one of the lawyers was transferred to an office in another city. It wasn't quite the same without him.

A new woman lawyer joined their law firm. One day she overheard the remaining three talking about their golf round at the coffee table. Curious, she spoke up, "You know, I used to play on my golf team in college and I was pretty good. Would you mind if I joined you next week?"

The three lawyers looked at each other. They were hesitant. Not one of them wanted to say 'Yes', but she had them on the spot. Finally one man said it would be okay, but they would be starting pretty early at 6:30 am. He figured the early Tee-Time would discourage her immediately.

The woman said this might be a problem and asked if she could possibly be up to 10 minutes late. They rolled their eyes but said this would be okay. She smiled and said, "Good, then I'll be there either at 6:30 or 6:40."

She showed up right at 6:30 and wound up beating all three of them with an eye-opening 2-under par round. She was a fun and pleasant person the entire round. The guys were impressed! Back in the clubhouse they congratulated her and happily invited her back the next week. She smiled and said, "Sure, I'll be here at 6:30 or 6:40."

The next week she again showed up at 6:30 Saturday morning. Only this time, she played left-handed. The three lawyers were incredulous as she still managed to beat them with an even par round despite playing with her off-hand. By now the guys were totally amazed, but wondered if she was just trying to make them look bad by beating them left-handed. They couldn't figure her out. She was again very pleasant and didn't seem to be showing them up, but each man began to harbor a burning desire to beat her!

In the third week they all had their game faces on. But this week she was 10 minutes late! This had the guys irritable because each was determined to play the best round of golf of his life to beat her. As they waited for her, they figured her late arrival was some petty gamesmanship on her part. Finally she showed up. This week the lady lawyer played right-handed which was a good thing since she narrowly beat all three of them. However she was so gracious and so complimentary of their strong play, it was hard to keep a grudge against her. This woman was a riddle no one could figure out!

Back in the clubhouse she had all three guys shaking their heads at her ability. They had a couple beers after their round which helped the conversation loosen up. Finally one of the men could contain his curiosity no longer. He asked her point blank, "How do you decide if you're going to golf right-handed or left-handed?"

The lady blushed and grinned. She said, "That's easy. When my dad taught me to play golf, I learned I was ambidextrous. I have always had fun switching back and forth. Then when I met my husband in college and got married, I discovered he always sleeps in the nude. From then on I developed a silly habit. Right before I left in the morning for golf practice, I would pull the covers off him. If his 'you-know-what' was pointing to the right, I golfed right-handed; if it was pointed to the left, I golfed left-handed. All the girls on the team thought this was hysterical."

Astonished at this bizarre information, one of the guys shot back, "But what if it's pointed straight up in the air?"

She answered: "Then I'm ten minutes late".

[Rick and Arleen Ball]

Great Jokes!!!!!!!!!!!

[Richy]

Hey Tony.Was it cold sleeping in the garage?

[Joel Fellman]

I'm keeping my distance from these!!!!!! But they were funny!!

[jim4242]

C'mon Joel.....no guts no glory! I am sure Sue is quite understanding in these matters.:)

I'm keeping my distance from these!!!!!! But they were funny!!

[George C]

I'm keeping my distance from these!!!!!! But they were funny!!
Joel

;ae Is Sue aware that you tried to steal my Hood Ornament ??????;gm

[C5pilot]

Hey Tony.Was it cold sleeping in the garage?

I'm guessing Rose told him at LEAST one of those jokes. :D

[carboman]

A blond goes to see her doctor. The Doctor asks what the problem is. The blond says she is experiencing pain all over her body. The doctor asks her to point to where it hurts. She puts her index finger on her right knee and says right here, she puts her finger on her right cheek and says right here, she does the same with several other spots on her body. The doctor proceeds to check her out from top to bottom. The blond asks, so doc what's wrong with me? He says , you have a broken finger.

For a good laugh click here http://www.veoh.com/videoDetails.html?v=e107067WHhNhRh4

[Joel Fellman]

George:
The big quetion is whether going to jail (or divorse court) is worth it?
Joel

[carboman]

Q: Why do blondes wear ponytails?
A: To hide the valve stem!


Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, and one half hour later they were both killed by a train.